So Toulouse is getting pretty close now. I leave in exactly ten days and I can officially say ‘I move to France next week’. After the 28th there’s this strange cut-off in my life. I’m not making any plans past this date, and plans made by friends naturally exclude me. September – and the rest of the next ten months – is currently one big unknown. A void that although scarily empty at the moment, I know will be filled. This obviously feels quite unnatural.
The goodbyes have started already. I wouldn’t say I was particularly good at them either. ‘So… this is probably the last time I’ll see you for like a year?’, followed by a weird and ever-so-slightly-longer-than-usual hug. I don’t like goodbyes for several reasons, there’s this unspoken pressure to have meaningful ‘last words’, to grasp the significance of the ‘last’ moments together, and anything too forced – especially with acquaintances that aren’t quite good friends – is just a bit awkward and insincere. I sound like I hate everyone, but this isn’t completely true, and I do say goodbyes.
Today I realised though, maybe the reason goodbyes seem so uncomfortable for me is because they aren’t really necessary. Without sounding like an old timer reminiscing about days gone by (mainly because I don’t actually remember ‘those days’ too well), these days goodbyes don’t carry the same significance they once did.
Yesterday, within a minute of saying goodbye to one of my good friends in Edinburgh, we were already on Snapchat. Texting has been upgraded to actual ‘face-to-face’ conversations; this means that as long as you have 3G or wifi, you won’t be lonely. The need to have a catch up with friends is further diminished by the fact that you can normally see exactly what they’ve been up to via Facebook or Instagram updates. Goodbyes traditionally pre-empt a period of being apart and of missing someone. If you don’t miss people in the same way you used to, how can goodbyes retain their significance?
So although I’m moving to another country and leaving behind my family and friends, and although it will be strange not to be able to see them at short notice, I won’t be as far away as the geographical divide dictates. Goodbyes then, will continue to feel strange and ever so slightly unnecessary.
Josie
Salut Toulouse 